Enough As We Are by Rachel Simmons
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Enough As We Are

Enough As We Are is a transformative course for anyone parenting a girl while still untangling the knots of their own childhood.
Enrollment is closed

Here’s something countless parents have whispered to me, convinced they were the only one who had the question:

How do I raise my daughter to be confident and kind to herself when I’m still struggling to become those things myself? 


Let’s get this out of the way first: You are most definitely not alone. 

The number one thing parents and educators tell me about my latest book, Enough As She Is is this: 

“You wrote this book for girls, but I’m the one who needs it.”

These conversations freed me to share something I had kept to myself for decades: every book I write for girls is a journey in healing the child I once was. Now, I’m ready to help you heal yours.
To parent our girls well, we can’t just focus on our girls. 

We also have to heal the children we once were. We all have wounds from our earliest years that continue to shape our lives as adults—and now touch our lives as parents. 

Maybe you were left out or bullied as a kid, and now you react with an intensity you can’t control when your daughter faces even a minor friend problem. Perhaps your parents frequently minimized or even denied your feelings, and now you struggle to handle your daughter’s. Or maybe you pursued perfection at the expense of your wellness, and now have a daughter doing the same.

Over 8 weeks of live, interactive virtual workshops, we’ll examine how memories and unresolved issues from childhood work the controls of our parenting. Then, we’ll learn the skills we need to raise girls who are resilient, emotionally intelligent and confident—by becoming the role models they deserve.

In other words, once we’ve done our own homework—turning inward to learn, reflect and deepen our self-understanding—we’ll learn the hands-on strategies to use directly with our daughters. 

We’ll learn to do better by our daughters, giving them what we didn’t have.

Want a sneak peek of what this course will cover?

DOWNLOAD THE PRE-COURSE REFLECTION HANDOUT

Join me in this course and learn how to...

  • Model and teach your daughter skills to take risks, express her feelings, and stop second-guessing herself.
  • Practice self-compassion in the face of self-criticism or failure—and show your daughter how to do the same.
  • Smash the tyranny of Perfect Parent pressure, and learn how it’s hurting your daughter.
  • Separate her stuff from your stuff—and stop reliving your childhood when she has a problem.
  • Take control of your emotions when she triggers you, so you can learn to regulate your feelings and handle her challenges as your best self.
  • Say no and set limits around social media use—and learn the latest research about why it matters so much for girls. 
  • Be fluent in the messed-up messages your daughter hears from the culture about her appearance—and be able to talk about them with her without judging her. 
  • Dispense sound friendship advice with a minimum of reactivity or judgment.  
  • Use empathic, active listening to comfort her — and help her open up about her feelings.
  • Be vulnerable with other parents who understand your experience and share theirs with you. 

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"Enough As We Are is an honest and raw look into how your own upbringing and early childhood experiences relate to how you parent and react to your daughter's social interactions. The topics are well defined and Rachel's expertise infuse the course with clear methods for working to recognize and temper trigger reactions we all face when parenting. I really valued Rachel's bravery in sharing her own childhood and parenting experiences throughout the class. I also gained from the authentic recognition that this is hard work which will take time and practice, but in the end will be so rewarding for those we love the most. Thank you for an amazing class experience! 
Katie M.

Hi, I'm Rachel Simmons.

My super power is developing practical tools that help people feel braver, more resilient and less alone.

In my day job, I'm an internationally recognized author and educator. I’ve been hired to teach by Oprah Winfrey, Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg, and companies like Google, Procter and Gamble and Soul Cycle. My groundbreaking work teaching failure resilience has been featured in The New York Times. 

My toughest job?  Parenting a girl myself. This kid schools me on the daily. (And for the record, she relishes thumbing her nose at my career by clamming up and refusing to talk about her feelings—more on that later.)

People work with me because I’m smart and real, funny and vulnerable. I am rigorous in my work but don’t pretend to know everything. I crack jokes and quote Beyonce one minute, then refer to research most people don’t have time to read in the next. I prepare like crazy, but I never read from a script. My favorite compliment after my lectures and workshops is: “Can we go out for a drink now?”

Enough As We Are is made up of…

"I was surprised at how helpful this course was for me and how much I looked forward to the live sessions even though I was exhausted from an already long day. I have two high school age boys and oversee a department that works with high school age girls. Every session had a least one moment of pure bliss as I connected with and then worked to change something I hadn't previously realized. If you ever wonder if some of your own experiences or fears are getting in the way of your relationships with your kids, you must take this class."
Dina

The Five Guiding Principles Of Enough As We Are:

We have to believe we’re enough if we want our daughters to believe this, too. We owe it to our daughters to do this work first on ourselves. Put your own oxygen mask on first. 
Good parenting is a mix of trusting your gut and being a lifelong learner. It’s having faith in your own authority, yet being willing to be curious and do things differently. Failure is a feature, not a bug, of learning, and we should embrace it along the way.
This space is for real people. We’re not faking or judging here. We’re all in this parenting thing together. We all get triggered, lose our tempers, get tired and overwhelmed. We all say and do things we’re not proud of. Parenting is humbling. No one is perfect. We are each others’ colleagues and teachers. When we see another parent struggling, instead of saying, “Glad that’s not me,” we say, “That could be me.” Compassion, not judgment, is our jam.
You can’t learn to shoot a foul shot by me telling you how to do it. You have to get on the foul line and put a ball in your hands. I’m not here to lecture. Get ready to be interactive and throw yourself in the game. Plus, by sharing your experience, you help others learn.
Taking a deep dive into our earliest years means focusing on the moments, early on, when we were pressured not to show our true selves: when we learned to silence our voices, avoid vulnerability, or push down feelings. The moments we tried to please everyone and do everything right, or cover our vulnerability with steel. The times when our voices were not yet strong enough to say what we are ready to verbalize today.

We are not here to belittle or revise our youth. But many of us can remember two phases of childhood: who we were before we were flooded with society’s pressure to give up our true selves, and the young adults many of us became after hearing those messages, when we worried about pleasing others over ourselves, stopped listening to our inner voices, feared conflict, or got scared of failing. Getting to know our own childhoods will help us guide our kids through theirs. 

The Enough As We Are Curriculum

Module 1: We’re All Still Kids Inside: Course Introduction
Opens April 1, 2019
How does your childhood shape you as a person and parent today? What did you struggle with as a child? What did you love about who you were? How can you begin making peace with the wounds and channel your courage? In this module, we’ll begin the journey, getting to know each other and exploring the principles of the course along the way.

Learn how:
  • Traditional gender norms about being the “good girl” can limit girls’ healthy development
  • Early messages about how to look and act as children affect our parenting

Modules 2 + 3: Have Your Feelings (and Fears) Before They Have You
Open April 8 and April 15, 2019
Emotional intelligence—the way you identify, express and respect your own feelings—is crucial to success in every domain. But it’s especially key to parenting girls, who are taught to internalize their strongest feelings, please others at the expense of themselves, and avoid conflict. In this session, we’ll explore the rules about feelings you learned all those years ago, practice concrete ways to increase your emotional IQ and your daughter’s, and learn strategies to manage our strongest feelings when our daughters trigger us. 

Learn to:
  • Self-regulate when triggered
  • Validate and respect your own feelings
  • Help your daughter feel seen and heard
  • Increase your emotional intelligence
  • Practice active listening

OFF WEEK: NO CLASS
April 22, 2019 

Module 4: Turn Self-Criticism into Self-Compassion 
Opens April 29, 2019
Girls are notoriously self-critical, under relentless pressure to please others and always be more than they are.  In this module, we’ll turn back the clock and explore what you once learned about failure, success and self-worth. How does this shape you and your parenting today? What is “Perfect Parent” pressure and how does it undermine our children? Prepare to have your life changed by the three-step practice of self-compassion. Learn other concrete strategies—drawn from Rachel’s internationally recognized “Failing Well” workshops at Smith College—to become more resilient and less perfectionistic.

Learn:
  • Why self-criticism fails to motivate us effectively
  • A research-based, three-step practice of self-compassion
  • How to actively resist “perfect parent” pressure and set a more authentic example for your daughter

Module 5: Courage Boot Camp: Stop Overthinking & Face Your Fears
Opens May 6, 2019
Girls often start out brave and fearless, only learning to avoid risks once they feel pressure to please others and be perfect. What did you learn about facing the unknown and taking healthy risks? How comfortable are you today when you screw up, and how can you get better at being brave—for you and for your daughter? In this module, you’ll keep learning strategies from Rachel’s Failing Well initiative to summon your courage, fight Imposter Phenomenon and overthinking, and embrace constructive fear—and help your daughter do the same.

Learn:
  • Three ways to build courage and confidence in your daughter
  • Strategies to identify healthy goals and take risks
  • How to manage overthinking and imposter phenomenon

Module 6: Friend Divorce, the Myth of the BFF & Other Realities of Female Friendship
Opens May 13, 2019
Which friends left you out when you were younger? Which ones broke your heart? In this module, we’ll summon the ghosts of our earliest friendships and uncover ways they may lead us to misinterpret our daughter’s social challenges. Then you’ll learn Rachel’s most effective strategies to respond to friend drama.

Learn:
  • Concrete advice to give your daughter about friendship
  • Four-step friendship problem solving protocol

Module 7: Healthy Body Image in the Age of the Supergirl
Opens May 20, 2019
What messages did you internalize about food and your body when you were growing up, and how do they shape your life as a parent today? In this module, we’ll practice strategies to model a healthful approach to body image, cultivate media literacy in your daughter, and respond to self-criticism.

Learn:
  • Do’s and don’ts in front of your daughter when it comes to eating and appearance
  • The latest research on ways girls use social media to alter their appearance
  • How to reframe negative body talk
  • Practical ways to talk with your daughter about media and body image

Module 8: Digital Resilience: Set Boundaries & Raise a Wise User of Social Media
Opens May 28, 2019
How did your parents set limits and boundaries with you (or not), and how does that shape your parenting around social media today? In this module, we’ll practice strategies to say no and follow through. Kids are getting annoyed with adults’ increasingly black-and-white view of social media. Learn how to talk about screens with your daughter with balance and empathy, and learn some of Rachel’s strategies to use social media wisely.

Learn:
  • How the boundaries adult set in your early years affect how much (or little) you say “no” to your daughter
  • How identifying your most important family values can increase your effectiveness setting boundaries
  • The most effective parenting strategies for raising wise users of social media

GET STARTED NOW

What's included?

Video Icon 14 videos File Icon 34 files Text Icon 4 text files
Pre-Course Module: Getting Started
Getting Started Packet.pdf
1.16 MB
Enough As We Are - Walkthrough Course Site and Live Call
7 mins
Pre-Course Reflection.pdf
178 KB
Module 1: We're All Still Kids Inside
Welcome to Module 1!
Module 1 Handouts.pdf
206 KB
Module 1 - We're All Still Kids Inside.mp4
(1h 31m 23s)
EAWA Module 1 Slides.pdf
455 KB
Chat Transcript
29.5 KB
Bonus Content
Enough As She Is - Parent's Guide.pdf
127 KB
Module 2: Have Your Feelings (and Fears) Before They Have You - pt. 1
Welcome to Module 2!
Module 2 Handouts.pdf
230 KB
Module 2 Recording.mp4
(1h 28m 09s)
Module 2 Slides.pdf
247 KB
Chat Transcript.txt
13.3 KB
Office Hours #1
Office Hours.mp4
17 mins
Module 3: Have Your Feelings (and Fears) Before They Have You - pt. 2
Module 3 Homework.pdf
202 KB
Module 3 Handouts.pdf
215 KB
How Do You Feel? Poster - Girls Leadership
559 KB
Module 3 Recording.mp4
(1h 30m 18s)
Chat Transcript
14 KB
Module 3 Slides.pdf
356 KB
Office Hours #2
Office Hours 2.mp4
28 mins
Module 4: Turn Self-Criticism into Self-Compassion
Module 4 Homework.pdf
188 KB
Additional Resources for Module 4
Module 4 Handouts.pdf
168 KB
Module 4 Recording.mp4
(1h 30m 10s)
Chat Transcript
26.7 KB
Module 4 Slides.pdf
703 KB
Mid-Course Survey
Take our Mid-Course Survey here!
Module 5: Courage Boot Camp: Stop Overthinking & Face Your Fears
Module 5 Homework.pdf
124 KB
Module 5 Handouts.pdf
290 KB
Risk Buddy Form
Module 5 Recording.mp4
(1h 36m 27s)
Module 5 Slides.pdf
976 KB
Chat Transcript
17.7 KB
Module 6: Friend Divorce, the Myth of the BFF & Other Realities of Female Friendship
Module 6 Handouts.pdf
203 KB
Module 6 Recording.mp4
(1h 28m 03s)
Module 6 Slides.pdf
702 KB
Chat Transcript
8.29 KB
Module 7: Healthy Body Image in the Age of the Supergirl
Module 7 Homework.pdf
127 KB
Module 7 Handouts.pdf
170 KB
Module 7 Recording.mp4
(1h 28m 47s)
Module 7 Slides
648 KB
Chat Transcript
11.7 KB
Facetune
2 mins
Office Hours #3
Office Hours #3
33 mins
Module 8: Digital Resilience: Set Boundaries & Raise a Wise User of Social Media
Module 8 Handouts.pdf
188 KB
Module 8 Recording (Part 1)
58 mins
Chat Transcript (pt 1)
8.53 KB
Module 8 Recording (Part 2)
41 mins
Chat Transcript (pt 2)
2.21 KB

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